The Waiting Place
Today we had our first IUI! We did it! Phew! I'll be honest, this has been more difficult than I had planned. I thank God for all our wonderful family and friends who have stepped up to help us during this process. So, here's our most current status. I went in yesterday to have an ultrasound. I know, that seems a little odd (or at least it did to me), but this ultrasound is to measure the follicle and project whether or not we have an egg (or more than one!) so we can proceed with the IUI. I was so nervous...our biggest hurdle with getting pregnant has been my low AMH (egg count). They prefer it to be above 1 and mine comes in at 0.6. UGH! Let me give you the back story-When I first heard this news back in January 2016 I took it really hard. I went through grieving and depression. It was so difficult on me that Russell and I decided to quit the fertility process and God truly gave me peace. I felt our family was complete and we moved forward. It wasn't until September that I started to question my decision. I'm not sure if it was because my sweet, baby girl had invented an invisible brother and sister....or maybe it was the fact that my heart began longing for baby kisses...but mostly I believe it was the thought that I could regret not doing the IUI and I would never know if it could have been our answer. Which leads me back up to today. It's been a long journey, but I don't question whether or not God's will is in play here.
So, back to my story. When the Nurse Practitioner did the ultrasound yesterday, she found nothing on my left ovary (sigh), but she did find a mature follicle on my right ovary (YAY!!). I was pretty shocked!!! This means I have an egg ready to be released (insert huge excitement here!!!). Next, I was given the ovidrel shot and we scheduled the IUI. I called my sweet Russell and we celebrated! I called my prayer warriors and asked for more prayer. Then, I went in today and everything looked so GREAT! The nurses exact words were, "You couldn't have asked for a better cycle". That made my day ;). The IUI procedure was seamless and now I have to rest for 2-3 days and make sure I don't get overheated. I'll spend the next two weeks living like I'm pregnant (eating extra well, no caffeine, no alcohol) and then I'll take a pregnancy test on November 28th.
This journey isn't easy and I had no idea how difficult it is. There's really no way to understand what it feels like unless you go through it. Hopefully this blog will help you have a glimpse into what fertility struggles look like. Every journey is different and every outcome is unknown. That's truly the hardest part. Realizing I have no control over this and I must simply trust, wait and pray is extremely draining. I just keep my eye on the goal and remember why we this is part of our story. In 13 days we will have our answer. If it's a negative, I'll cry some tears and get lots of hugs from my friends. I'll question why it didn't work and I'll scrutinize every move I made. I will, however, no matter what, trust God's plan and His almighty will. Then, I'll put on my big girl panties, regroup and start this whole process over. And that my friends, is what infertility looks like.